This page addresses many of the
questions I receive about Perfect Circle Weddings.
If you have other questions that are not addressed here, please
contact me!
 First,
I want to meet and get to know both of you, face-to-face.
Occasionally, this is not possible–one or both of you might live too
far away, one or both of you might be deployed by the military, and
so on. In that case, I try to get to know you over the phone or, if
there’s no other opportunity, by email. But I want you to feel
completely comfortable and happy with me, and I want to feel that I
know you and that you do both intend to remain together for the rest
of your lives.
Under the heading “Ceremonies”, the
first listing is “weddings”. Next to
that is a pricing list. Based on whether you choose the Diamond,
Emerald or Sapphire ceremony, we will meet either once or twice
before your wedding.
This is a basic idea of what you
can expect those meetings will include:
Our first meeting:
1. We’ll chat and get comfortable with each other. A bond between
you and the Minister performing your wedding truly enhances the
experience.
2. From what you tell me, from my intuitive understanding of the two
of you, and from my experience in crafting ceremonies, I will, after
this first meeting, write a first draft. I will email or snail mail
you both this draft to you so you can look it over.
3. I can guide you in your choice of vows or any other aspects you
would like to create yourselves.
Compatibility Survey:
Although I do not insist on premarital counseling, I strongly
recommend it, no matter how long you’ve been together. If you do
decide to include a roughly-two-hour counseling session, I first
email you a compatibility survey to take on-line (if you do not have
access, I can give you hard copy). This broad and in-depth survey
gives me some valuable basic understanding of who you are as
individuals as well as together which, coupled with my own insights,
will give me a basis for our Counseling Meeting.
 Our
second meeting:
I will share with you the areas in which your scores were especially
strong, so that you keep doing all those great things! I’ll also
discuss with you the areas where you might want to have further
conversations about your feelings.
a. For example, sometimes one of
you has been raised with indoor dogs and the other has never had a
pet. This will be an adjustment .b. If one of you comes from a
background where the wife is expected to stay home and raise
children, while the other comes from a background where the women
worked outside the home, you’ll need to arrive at a consensus with
which you are BOTH happy. We’ll also talk about how to help your
family members respect your decision.
c. Many couples are made up of one
person who is very tidy and one who is not; one who wants to discuss
everything right away and one who prefers to mull things over; one
who loves to save and another who likes to spend. Because I am a
Ph.D. Counselor as well as a Minister, I can give you very specific
tools for dealing with these, and many other, relationship issues.
d. This is just the most basic of
samplings of ways in which I can help you stay, or move to, the same
page. Remember, this is the person you’re marrying. Do NOT expect
them to change the moment there’s a ring on your finger. We meet
this second time so that I can help you find a middle ground that is
agreeable to both of you–and that invariably involves compromise
from BOTH of you. Fortunately, I know a lot of ways to make that
compromising lots of fun!
The ceremony:
That’s the final step!
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