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Random Recommendations:
In no particular order, these have come from years of experience and
observation:
BE ON TIME:
Every wedding left to its own devices, will start a minimum of a
half hour late. Here’s how to prevent that from happening:
 If
your invitations say the wedding is at 6 pm, that means the CEREMONY
starts at 6 pm; they should have the good manners to arrive before
then). You can include a little summary of this timeframe if you
like, but it’s optional of course:
* all guests MUST be seated no later than 15 minutes before the
scheduled start of the ceremony
* grandparents are seated at 10 minutes before the ceremony,
followed immediately by the seating
of the parents
* the procession will start PROMPTLY at 5 minutes before the
ceremony. If some guests have not
yet arrived, the ceremony will begin without them, as you don’t know
if they’ve had car trouble or
are just running late.
* Being on time for a wedding is the same as arriving on time for a
business meeting, a movie… you
wouldn’t expect them to hold the meeting or the movie for you, would
you? Don’t hold up the
ceremony for everyone else.
* The bride starts down the aisle AT the time listed on the
invitation. The wedding begins on time.
There is neither humor nor good taste in a bride being late for her
own wedding.
BEWARE SALTY FOOD AND MSG:
Do not salt your food or eat Chinese food (MSG) within 48 hours of
your ceremony;
your fingers will swell and your rings won’t go on.
GETTING YOUNG RING BEARERS AND FLOWER GIRLS TO BEHAVE:
 Really
young children may look utterly adorable in their teeny
tuxedos and lacy dresses, but the odds of them not freaking
out in front of all those people is rather slim. That
doesn't mean they're not the greatest children in the entire
world but, let's face it, a 2 year old does not have the
self-control or even the life experience of a 6 year old. I've
found that having a middle-school-aged child pull a really young
child in a wagon full of toys and balloons solves two problems:
the child will be seen by everybody looking utterly adorable,
and the child will be oblivious to all those grown-ups looking
at him/her because the child is surrounded by things to do (this
is best if one or two new toys are placed in the
wagon). After they've made it to the front of the aisle and
stayed there long enough for the flashbulbs to go off, the wagon
can be wheeled to the side where the child or kids can keep
playing.
I even had a not-yet-walking "ring
bearer" carried down the aisle in a Snugli by his dad, who was
named "The Ring Bearer's Bearer"!
GUEST BOOK OBSERVATIONS:
The typical sign-in guest book is lovely, but it will also, within
weeks of the wedding, be relegated to some drawer. That’s fine—just
know that that’s what will happen.
A photo of the bride and groom, with lots of border area on which
people can sign their names and wishes, is also lovely. Many couples
do, in fact, keep that photo on the wall for many years. Frequently,
as soon as one of you gains 10 or 15 lbs, the photo comes down!
That’s fine, too—just know that it’s coming.
A good-looking metal serving tray is another solution is to buy
(Target has a great selection at around $30, which look like $200)
and a cordless engraver (Lowes or Home Depot, about $15). Your
guests sign the tray itself, which is a lot of fun, and the tray
with all its signatures often becomes an heirloom that gets brought
out for all family events—the turkey gets served on it, or the fancy
dessert…so it’s a guest book that actually gets used, over and over,
through the years.
HIRING DJ’s AND BANDS:
When you interview your DJ or band, make sure they understand that
their purpose is to provide background music. I’m continually amazed
by how many DJ’s and bands think that your wedding is their concert!
Your guests expect to dance, but they also most definitely expect to
be able to chat with the other guests without screaming at the top
of their lungs to be heard over the amplifiers. Do yourselves and
your guests a favor by making absolutely sure that your DJ or band
understands and agrees that this is a concert at which they are the
headliners. Doing so will spare you literal and figurative
headaches.
FOOTWEAR:
Brides and bridesmaids—nobody is going to be looking at your feet!
Wear comfortable shoes!
Some of my happiest brides have worn flip-flops or ballet-style
slippers! By the same token, groomsmen may not complain about their
stiff rented shoes if the bridesmaids are in high heels! If you want
comfortable shoes, men, go out and buy some nice patent leathers and
break them in real well before the wedding!
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